INT, LIVING-ROOM, FLAT.

EVENING.

A MAN is playing the retro arcade game, PONG, against a BABY…

After a tense match, the Man wins. The Baby starts BAWLING.

[MAN:]
You can’t be serious?

The Baby continues to BAWL…

[MAN:]
OMG.
Grow-up!

From the adjoining room, the FATHER emerges.

[FATHER:]
Don’t tell my baby to grow-up.

[MAN:]
I won fair and square and this is the reaction (?)

[FATHER:]
Looks like it.

[MAN:]
That doesn’t work for me.
If baby wants to play Pong, baby has to be cool.

(to Baby):
Not cool, baby.

[FATHER:]
You’re not cool, playing hard against a baby.

[MAN:]
Hey, I was playing Pong: you asked if the baby could play.
I said, Sure. —But did I say I’d babysit…?
Because if I’d said I’d babysit, I’dve played soft.
I mean, probably, I’dve let the baby win.
But I didn’t say I’d babysit.

And, you know, just to be clear: if you’d asked me to babysit, I’dve said, No.
Because this is my time right now.
I don’t have other time to switch-off.

So, sorry, it’s just not cool.

The Father considers what the Man has said…

The Baby, meanwhile, has ceased bawling, and is looking from Father to Man, Man to Father, working out in its baby head if it’s winning.

[FATHER:]
(to Baby)
The man’s right, kid. If you wanna play: play happy, win or lose. Otherwise, it’s Mr Squidgy-Toy and you.
What do you say?

The Baby looks at the SQUIDGY-TOY on the floor: zero-appeal.

It turns its snotty, wet face to the Man (a sad face). Then, it hangs its head (in shame).

[MAN:]
OK baby, we’re good.
Go again?

The Baby, smiling, looks at the Man, a cherub through the snot and tears.

[MAN:]
But let’s sort your face out first.

The Man picks a tissue from the box on the table and wipes the Baby’s face.

[MAN:]
Much better, hey?

The Father returns to his business in the other room.

The Baby takes hold of the controller: READY.

The man hits PLAY >

*